Day 603. Survivors found: 8
Many thanks to some of our readers for tipping us off to this appalling situation.
For all newcomers to this site: self-proclaimed “adoption expert” and ostensible “Emporer” [sic] Ronald Federici has been trying to silence child torture survivors via personal threats and prolonged abuse of the DMCA. Mister Federici promotes an abusive form of “compression therapy” that has proven lethal for adults, much less children.
Recently we’ve been made aware of the extremely disturbing blog of an adoptive parent who buys into Federici’s quack treatment. This woman has adopted several children, one of whom was a 5-year old boy from Haiti, or rather, “from a Third World orphanage,” as she puts it.
She subjected the child to Federici’s quack “RAD” therapy, which of course proved ineffective at best.
Now she is trying to give her child away online.
Some fellow anti-torture child advocates have offered this woman information on Federici’s fraudulent background, but apparently she has deleted it and banned them.
Reading her story and various correspondences, all the usual suspects are to be found: denigration of the birth parents and the child’s country of origin; claims that she doesn’t “really” practice Attachment/”RAD” Therapy even whilst endorsing one of its leading proponents; attributing her own marriage problems to a child, fervent belief that “God wanted [her] to adopt” etc. etc.
This “call for help,” i.e., a tortured little child (currently 8 years old) being offered up online, is still going on.
The adoptive mother refers to him only as “AngryBoy,” her reason being that when she isolated him and placed him under constant surveillance, he “morphed” into such.
Any honest person with half a brain would chafe under such conditions, much less a child — and even the adoptive mother admits that the boy is bright, energetic and does well in school.
To all adoptees and ethical adoption advocates: please help to draw attention to this child’s humiliating plight.
At the very least, we should make this adoptive parent aware of the incontrovertible evidence of Ronald Federici’s abusive and fraudulent history. She still has other adopted children that are at risk of being placed in Federici’s hands.
Update: This saintlike adoptive mother is now threatening to sue the anti-torture child advocates who have questioned her behavior in this matter and alerted us survivors to the online disposal of her child.
You have targeted me solely because you have some grudge against Dr. Federici.. (and yes, idiot, he IS a doctor…) I feel I have been more than reasonable in putting up with your bullshit, however, I will not tolerate it further. Not only are you breaking your state’s anti-stalking laws, you are also defaming my character in writing (also known as libel).. so in fact, while I am not breaking ANY laws in the way I am raising my children, YOU ARE. I will be contacting both my legal counsel and the State Police in your state regarding your conduct. Look forward to hearing from me.
Classy.
Comments 32
The State Police??
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 20:34 ¶OK-I confess, I tried to post annon. on her site, so some of the complaints could be about me!
But not all of what she said. I’m assuming that she is making the mistake of wrapping all detractors into one “stalker”? (paranoid/delusional much?)
She’s trying to give-away a child! did she not expect any flak??
This “support” and “don’t judge”-just kills me sometimes!
And as far as I know I didn’t do anything illegal at all and I resent being threatened!
Anyhow, this whole pile of rotten-fish called “RAD” just keeps getting WEIRDER & WEIRDER!
A reporter from USA Today wrote a story in 2006 about “an underground network” of RAD-parents who TRADE CHILDREN!, and guess who the go-to guy was for quotes?
Federici-UGH!-like I said it just gets weirder & weirder.
Here’s the url to the USA today story, I tried to send the reporter, Wendy Koch an email about this current situation, but I could not find an email addy.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-01-18-swapping-children_x.htm
Since when is being a bit of a troll a crime?
And i mean that in a good way! Trolling the blogs & www, for people who are posting nonsense and calling them on it!
But Noooooo they would have me shake in fear that the State Police are coming to bust down my door!!
(for what??)
For posting replys in the comments on their own stupid blogs!
The United Nations trumps the state police every time. It is “States Nations” you have to watch. What about the Universal Declaration to the Rights of Children?
There are also international bloggers who are very concerned. It makes an interesting predecent.
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 22:56 ¶I left this comment on the “grown in my heart” piece on this horrid womans post
I hope they post it !
I will be doing a piece on my blog too and Ive written about it on the NYT Anita Tedaldi post in the comments section stating THIS IS what happens when people start sensationalizing
My comment for the Grown in My heart post is :
After reading the response to Mirah and other posters from the Adoptive mother – I put it to the readers that the 8 year old adopted boy learnt “anger” from his adoptive mother.
Your tone and attitude to Mirah and other posters was immediate anger.
The anger that is coming from you shows through louder than you obviously can see.
You are the one coming across as angry.
If you do not want the criticism then I will give you the same advice I gave to Anita Tedaldi after her piece on the “Termination of her adopted child” – DON’T WRITE ABOUT IT
Pretty simple really isn’t it.
These are the type of children who go on to be mass murderers, serial rapists , always in trouble with the law and so on because people like YOU and Anita, take a child (thinking you are so wonderful and that *GOD* instructed you to ADOPT) that you fail to realize your own limitations , thus ending in serious problems all round and creating in SOME Cases a complete Monster, because you failed to push through the issues, and thus once again abandoning the child
Let me put it to ALL of the readers out there a different way…one that you can all relate to (probably)
Think back to when you were in a relationship, someone you loved with all your heart , maybe this was the one even and that person ended that relationship……
How did you feel ???
Rejected ? Abandoned ? Low Self Esteem ?
In the majority of cases this is how people who are the dumped one in the relationship feel, some go on binges , drinking , excessive eating/not eating , partying hard, being a recluse – any number of these things can and do happen , because they feel rejected, hurt, unloved , unwanted…
Why then is it SO HARD For people to wrap their head around how an adopted child feels?
And when that adopted child is dumped TWICE how much more damaging that is to them..
People who disrupt adoptions do not deserve the privilege to adopt a child.
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 23:04 ¶Yes, those things do happen (eating, binging, being a recluse).
The rejection of love is a fundamental one indeed. We can survive without food and drink, but not without love. Lots of touch and words and whatever your love language is.
She does love her son, very much, and all the children in the family (in a certain definition of love). It is a tough decision, and I will not cut ice on that.
To have anger in you already, and then having someone who you are connected to stoke it even more.
From such simple things are monsters created. And monstrous situations.
But there are lots of things behind anger, like fear and sadness. Mrs Waters must be feeling a lot of both.
At the same time she is very motivated to run marathons.
(I’d like to know: what is the procedure to disrupt adoptions in Australia? In particular states? There is a woman from Queensland with whom I am in contact. Her name is Francine/Nicole and she wrote about her adopted past in a link for the Womens’ Weekly).
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 23:28 ¶@Jane: We appreciate your support, but take a moment to consider your statement – us survivors are also adoptees who were twice abandoned, firstly by our birth parents, secondly by our adoptive parents who gave us up to child torturers. All the survivors here are child advocates who strongly oppose violence; NONE of us are mass murderers or serial rapists– that is the kind of stupid hyperbole and hateful ignorance that RAD cultists propagate.
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 23:37 ¶No, the survivors aren’t monsters.
They have the qualities which are sort of anti-monster, but, no, they are not super-human either.
As for ’serial rapists’ … oh dear, I’ve been guilty of this, and in a ‘reflecting the prejudices’ way, rather than ‘creating the prejudice’. (This is when I was writing my book, back in 2002).
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 23:43 ¶I never once claimed we were super-human.
Posted 22 Oct 2009 at 23:46 ¶No, you’re folks, just folks.
(That is a quote from To kill a mockingbird).
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 00:09 ¶WaywardRadish :) you take me too literlay
I said these are the type of peopel
Sorry I should have been more explicit ; Sometimes these are the type of people that………etc
IT is well documented that many serial rapists/murderers are those that were adopted/fostered/ IE : rejected
I do believe rejection plays a profound affect on ones ability to exist
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 05:45 ¶Im sorry but you are missing my point :( its so hard trying to convey what I want to say.
Take heart I am against termination/disruptions of adoptions.
Im sorry if I have minced my words
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 05:46 ¶EEK sorry for all the typos !!!!!
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 07:03 ¶Yes, very classy. Just goes to show her level of intelligence.
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 10:22 ¶When first I learnt about (the theory of) betrayal trauma (in July-August 2004) I had three questions, or rather three assumptions.
1: The world is benevolent.
2: The world is meaningful.
3. The world is controllable.
Now, for a lot of people, the world suggested by these assumptions has only a tenuous connection in reality. Yet, many believe at least one of these on some level.
“The world is benevolent” is the assumption which is being violated here, and when something is weak in a triad, we tend to put energy/work on another. In this case, “The world is controllable”.
Victor Frankl will talk and write about the loss of meaning.
Posted 23 Oct 2009 at 16:17 ¶@Adelaide: You know we love that book. :)
Posted 25 Oct 2009 at 19:36 ¶I have been very impressed talking with survivors of AT/P. And by Candace Newmaker — a remarkable child I got to know only by watching 11 hours of video taped “therapy” sessions. When Watkins asked why she was there, after hours of Holding Therapy, she answered without rancor: “You like torturing people.” Perceptive, sweet, lively, intelligent. The whole jury fell in love with her. Her adoptive mother, on the other hand, seemed as interesting as dish water, quite disappointed that her adoptive daughter did not enjoy cooking as much as she did.
I’ve wondered if some people have difficulty relating to intelligent children who have a strong sense of self.
Attachment Therapist Bill Goble once talked about a little boy who asked him a “nonsense question”: “Why do trees grow in the ground?” Goble thought the child was just trying to annoy him, but that was a wonderful thing for a child to wonder about. That’s the sort of question that should delight a parent.
Posted 28 Oct 2009 at 19:39 ¶So has anybody thought to get her IP address and send it to social services? She’s admitted to putting the child in harmful situations that endanger his life, and that’s all child services needs. I mean not that foster care will be too much better, but the kid can at least run away in that case, this chick locks him up (which is illegal no matter the circumstances because it’s considered neglect).
Also, this woman is crazy, and I’m for some of the things in attachment parenting (like the stuff about letting your kid take their time to ween and don’t just let them cry when they’re upset but try to resolve the problem, not the other stuff that this lady follows though).
Posted 29 Oct 2009 at 01:21 ¶Linda, I like your observation about intelligent children with a strong sense of self being seemingly annoying or threatening to some adoptive parents and therapists. In the situation that I am aware of, that is exactly my take. I think that AT/P parents and therapists must feel very weak and insecure underneath all of the dust they kick up around themselves.
Posted 29 Oct 2009 at 09:15 ¶Here is another site where this poor child is being trafficked:
http://loolooland.blogspot.com/
Interesting, how Wordpress doesn’t seem to mind hosting “Watching the Waters”, but “A Search for Survivors” was banned.
Posted 29 Oct 2009 at 16:01 ¶Linda: I can see the difficulty.
I feel sad, on the other hand, that many children do not have a strong sense of self.
And I feel angry that many children are called selfish (that is the least worst).
On the EQI (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) message board, there is a discussion about fear and insecurity. Also Bon Dobbs put up some wonderful links to the International Society for Personality Disorders.
Not everybody does know why trees grow in the ground, especially if one is a child. Nor do they always know which way to turn off a tap. Which leads to consequences like filled-up toilets and bathrooms. I can smile and laugh now …
Posted 29 Oct 2009 at 23:12 ¶‘You have targeted me solely because you have some grudge against Dr. Federici.. (and yes, idiot, he IS a doctor…) ‘
So was Dr. Mengele.
Posted 06 Nov 2009 at 08:52 ¶Morzsa… Ron F is by far not the worst of these RAD cult leaders…. just one of them
he isn’t really a doctor, doctor… he certainly isn’t licensed as one in Virginia where he lives.. he is a licensed psychologist and licensed school psychologistl which takes about 6-7 years total on undergrad and grad school… heck most could easily do what they have to in 6… and in Virginia you can call up the license boards… you can call youself a Dr. , anyone can… without any kind of PhD at all… gee, seems I had that same conversation with the state license board just last July…
gee seem to me the gunman at Ft. Hood was a real psy Dr…. but another story
I think Ron’s ex wives, ex girls friends, ex clients who he was not appropriate with,…and children who had to live with him have some interesting input that is also ignored by Virginia state officals
one fact you can seach on the Fairfax County and City web sites he does get a lot of traffic violations (usually a bad sign and an anger problem)
but no, I don’t think anyone here targets Ron … he does got after us though … ironic that he has that much time
we just want the public in general to know what is out there mostly on the web about the end all be all cure for adoptive children; the RAD cult people— that is hurting children, causing adoption disruption, not address real issues these children have; resulting in the death of children… getting unqualified and under qualified self proclaimed experts who in general LIE, LIE, LIE about there success very wealthy… been at the root of just about ever adoption horror story from the USA the past 10 years…and did I say hurting children… is maybe something adoptive and foster parents should not be doing; certainly should not be forced on them or paid for by the government like it still is in every so many areas in this country…
oh well, you are in the mist of it and need to justify your own actions and build up your own beliefs and support and keep listening to the people you have (which really helped your child right?)
sadly, I guess a child has lost his home… but maybe that is a good thing, because maybe he can find someone who will be able to help him
and I really don’t mean this in a negative way to you…. you have believed something and followed it; just like all those people at Jonestown… I feel sad for you
Posted 13 Nov 2009 at 09:12 ¶oh sorry Morzsa; I was directing my post to whoever the nut was who posted about how great it was the mom is posting all over the net to give away her adopted child… kid is still up on chask.org (and actually this is reportedly something you cannot do in many states… post a child like that without agency involvment…)
Dr. Mengele (oh, looked him up) gee, get that now duh
funny Morzsa… just about everyone one of them the RAD cult actually have so little qualification or none at all… haven’t found one not out to get rich off of it… it is just me I know, but I don’t think that should be be motivation of a mental health provider
I clearly rememeber back in grad school; a real accredited grad school; getting training to work with emotionally disturbed children in school settings; they clearly mentioned Martha Welch, and her hold therapy and how abusive that was…
Posted 13 Nov 2009 at 09:19 ¶Funny:
From the mention of Welch, I think your graduate school experience would have been twenty years ago?
(Temple Grandin – the animal scientist, especially known for her work with cattle and other farm animals, as well as cats and dogs – mentioned her in the Technical Appendix of her first book, Emergence Labelled Autistic[Arena, California: 1986 {1989 edition}]).
Yes, Hassan was also a psychiatrist. An Army psychiatrist. His full name is Nidal Malik Hassan. And isn’t it interesting that he was also born in Arlington, Virginia?
Hassan had been investigated before the shooting.
(Look at the Koranic World View presentation. It will do a lot for cultural competence).
I don’t know that anybody up here (not in this post) has said anything but the giving up/abandoning of the child is wrong. And not especially in specific terms, either, but as a general principle.
You need surprisingly little time to get after somebody on the Internet, believe me. In five minutes or so, one’s reputation can be ruined. On the other hand, it can take months or years to skerrick out the truth. It also takes patience.
Posted 13 Nov 2009 at 20:36 ¶What is most ironic about the claim of “libel” or “slander” is that in Anglo-Saxon law, the accusation of slander was an accusation of removing someone from their community by virtue of defaming their name. Additional precedent in the law provides for the additional need of “malice” in the case of a public figure. By mediating the sickening and twisted desire to rid herself of her adopted child, the woman involved has made of herself a public figure. That she might cry “slander”, when it is she who, with malicious intent, removed a child from his context, his language, his people, his culture, his place–literally, displacing him from his community–is hypocritical beyond belief. That anyone might express sympathy for her is a sign of a society that has hit bottom in terms of its own solipsism and selfishness.
Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 02:15 ¶Ibn Zayd nailed it!
The poor child has his picture on the net and is labeled “angryboy” by the evil creature that adopted him. Who’s the victim here? These self-absorbed AP’s need to GROW UP and quit living in La-La Adoptoland. The fog is thick and stinky.
Posted 14 Nov 2009 at 16:04 ¶He’s officially been given away.
And I’ve just learned from a post of hers that it seems like her kid in the “three feet” program isn’t allowed to pet the dog without permission.
Posted 15 Nov 2009 at 17:54 ¶Merci, Ibyn.
It’s good to have a different perspective here.
Cross-cultural relations are delicate at best. They can be resillent too.
Ostracism is no basis for good law, I believe.
I greatly appreciate your support for independent media. Have just now been studying from a lecture about offence and outrage, and the independence of the public broadcaster. Also about taste and decency.
Forthelost:
Watching the Waters does try to respect the culture of her children. The latest post is about how she does their hair with locs.
Hair is a very good way to nurture your kids, I believe.
Nancy Thomas (Deborah Hage too) had a good way to look after candy sneakers. You put them in your fanny bag (how’s this for cross-cultural understanding!) and they can take as much as they want.
Posted 16 Nov 2009 at 00:49 ¶I’ve been out of grad school 14 years… Welch was mentioned as a bad thing not to do…
but today 11/30/09 the little boy is down off the chask.org site… maybe to a new home, maybe DSS got involved…
Posted 30 Nov 2009 at 14:51 ¶He did find a new home. The whole thread has been pulled. Apparently “Awesome Moms” can’t bear any criticism.
Posted 30 Nov 2009 at 15:29 ¶now as of today chask.org has been pulled down and replaced with some mid-wife shall I say crap… same state though; huh?
I don’t know; it isn’t like the US state gov. does a great job re-homing kids, placing them in the first place; keep them safe anyway…
kind of sad to see chask down I guess… kind of thought it was giving some kids from the RAD cult a second chance; maybe not…
I keep hearing that the RAD cult has such a big underground that it does not matter anyway… they swap kids all the time usually for some type of government money
Posted 03 Dec 2009 at 04:19 ¶chask.org seems to be back up today…. new little RAD boy needing a home :(
Posted 04 Dec 2009 at 13:46 ¶The woman who writes that blog is a self absorbed twisted mother. She appears to adopt and complain (endlessly) for attention. Has anyone reported her to CPS?
Posted 14 Dec 2009 at 18:18 ¶Trackbacks & Pingbacks 2
[...] to inform some parent that a certain child therapist has a checkered background, or questioning parents who try to give away an 8-year old child online does not count as “attacking,” [...]
[...] thrown around to justify anyone who believes that “God wanted them to adopt,” then tries to abandon their adopted child online, the absurdity becomes too great not to laugh out loud [...]
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